Musings From A Mom

Happy day-after Mother's Day!  I hope your day was as FABULOUS as mine.  I simply could not have asked for a better day - truly.  My morning began with breakfast in bed (cooked by my husband - the boys were too busy playing video games to be bothered with Mom).  I received the most beautiful simple white roses - never gotten white before, and they are just stunning!  Then it was time for some comic relief.  My 7-year old gave me his homemade "10 Reasons I Love My Mom" book.  

Here's a rundown:

#10 - I love to hear my mom sing songs.

#9 - I love when my mom makes me laugh by tickling me.

#8 - I love my mom because she works so hard at her blog.  (AWW!)

#7 - I love my mom because she helps me do my homework.

#6 - I love my mom because she taught me how to write good.

#5 - I love my mom because she reads me a lot of books.

#4 - I love my mom because she cares for me by getting food for me.  (yep, it's a constant!)

#3 - I love my mom because she finds time to do fun stuff.

#2 - I love my mom because she shares her talent of a blog.  :)

and the #1 reason?

I love my mom because she lets me watch WWE!  (That's my boy!!!)

My oldest treated me to his concert at the Eismann Center.  I got to listen to him play 5 songs as professionally as any orchestra I've ever heard.  And did he look handsome in his tux!  I hardly recognize him any more!

I came home to a fantastic dinner and a poem that my 10 year old wrote for me.  The best present of all?  I don't think I heard one fight break out.  No screaming, hitting, complaining.  They were just the most well behaved children I've ever seen.  There can only be one explanation - my husband threatened them to within an inch of their lives!  (Hey, whatever works!)

I have to confess that lately I've been feeling a little....well, old.  Rundown.  Frumpy.  It's kind of occurred to me that I'm not the young, cute Mommy at school pickup anymore.  You know the one - in her hot little yoga pants, and the cutie-patootie baby hanging off her hip lookin' all adorable with his chubby little cheeks and hair standin' on end.  I'm (gasp) the old, seasoned veteran.  And I don't like it one little bit.  Lately I've really been missing the days when my kiddos were itty bitty.  When they snacked on Cheerios and marveled at how they stuck to their fat little fingers with baby drool.  How you could just bury your face in their little necks and just smell all the baby-ness.  And the adorable little clothes, and the teeny tiny little socks about the size of your thumb.  Remember those?  

Yes, I am missing my young Mommy days.  Yep, my kids still need me, but not for the same reasons.  So I am struggling with getting content in my new Mommy role.  I don't have a child here at home all day, just the two (or three) of us.  I round 'em all up, get 'em all off to school, and come home to a very quiet house.  BELIEVE ME - most days I'm quite happy!  Just lately, I'm missing the old days.  I think I've seen too many baby's on TV with the Mother's Day blitz we just had.  And, yes, you kinda tend to remember all the good stuff, and forget the not-so-good stuff (baby spit-up running down your back, anyone?)

Here's where it really smacked me in the face.  I took Sam (the teen) to the doctor this week.  As we sat in the pediatrician's office, among all the toddlers, we stood out like a sore thumb.  Nothing drove that home more than when they asked him to step on the scale and then proceeded to tell me he was now 6'1" and 175 pounds.  WOW.  Yeah, I think it's time to stop going to the pediatrician and find a grown up doctor.  And THAT makes me really, really sad.  There is no denying that time is marching on - and appears to be stuck in a fast-forward clip!

So I will continue to research college scholarship opportunities, and schedule swim lessons, and chauffeur my boys to all their various activities.  Their social calendars are WAY busier than mine these days!  And I will dip my toe back into the water that is Brenda (that's me).  Not Mom - but Brenda.  I might actually get a little bit of that back - and perhaps it's not such a bad thing after all.  It's an opportunity to re-invent (or maybe just re-discover) what Brenda likes to do. It's scary, and thrilling, and frustrating, and exciting all rolled up into one.  Kinda like life.